Trapped In Frosted Wastelands
by MonAanGor
Summary: Heavy AU; Elsa and Anna's worlds have been turned upside down by the death of their parents, and both sisters have to find their way to cope, or the end will come sooner than they think. Rated M for self-mutilation, suicidal thoughts, and depressive situations.
1. Go Away, Anna

**AN: **I think it's necessary to address the story below, though it's not normally something I'd do. It contains horrifying imagery and content that deserves a massive trigger warning. Everything written below, especially in the first chapter, is a bit more realistic than expected. I understand that a topic this large is not to be satirized and I have done my very best to ensure the proper addressing of it. Thank you very much.

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**Chapter 1**: Go Away, Anna

"Do you want to build a snowman…?" were the last words Elsa heard before sinking down against her frozen door, burying her head in her arms, crying softly to herself.

_We value sacredness based upon what sacrifices we feel are appropriate… the larger the sacrifice, the more value something holds in our hearts. When darkness plagues the soul, no longer does one have the innate ability to determine worth. Instead, it is replaced with senseless logic, categorizing the pleasures life once held, no longer by value, but by the lack thereof. The victim follows a conjugated merit system, sacrifices are not deemed necessary for ethical salvation… the sufferer, essentially, considers life not worthy enough to make sacrifices for. This is the very foundation of desolation and it is a necessary concept to comprehend, or the feelings of those affected, in turn, cannot be comprehended._

Elsa sat against the door in silence, waiting to hear Anna get up to leave. She didn't want anything to do with anyone… and for that very reason, she wanted to eviscerate anything that stood in her way of solitude. Yet at last, she heard her sister stand up – but she didn't walk away. Elsa's eyes opened and white-hot outrage filled them; a dreaded passion for pain encompassing her soul.

"Elsa… I want to see you," Anna whispered against the door. "Please, let me in…" Tired of waiting for her sister's return, she begged with all her heart to see Elsa, hoping she'd at last give in and finally see her face. She could feel a staggeringly savage cold against her lips as she spoke, sensing a fusion of such woe and vitriol. She knew not of Elsa's terrifying ability to charm ice, however, she could sense the internal torture reflected upon by the soul-chilling wood. And yet, for the first time in forever, Elsa desired, no, craved seclusion from her sister. So long had she spent yearning to even see her sister's face, and now, the rage she felt towards seeing her smoldered her already blackened soul with every passing second.

"Go away, Anna," she managed to utter calmly. Anna froze, recalling the time when Elsa had told her the exact same words in rejection before. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she shakily protested. "Elsa, please." Elsa could sense the searing pain that accompanied her simple words, but what did she care? Why must she listen to her sister, when clearly she could do nothing?

"Go away," she repeated, more sternly, practically dragging the tears from Anna's eyes. Each word clawed at her spirit with talons of ceaseless agony, tearing away at compassion and discarding it without a second thought. Beginning to shake, she recognized the sacrifice required to see her sister that night.

"Elsa! Please let me in!" she yelled at the barrier between sadness and indignation.

She heard nothing and held her breaths for longer, hoping to hear a stirring from the other side of the ardent blockade. Suddenly, the door became intensely chilled and Anna gasped and stepped back. What was going on? What was her sister doing?

"I. Said. Go. AWAY!" she heard Elsa yell, forcing the door open and sending Anna flying across the hall, hitting the wall with incredible force. Hitting her head on the rails of the walls, she let out a small gasp of pain, making her dazed and disoriented. A frigid gale of anguish hit her in waves as she looked up, seeing her sister's darkened figure under the moonlight. Clutching her chest, she looked up at Elsa. Unable to see her face clearly, she tried squinting to find her lost sister before having to lose her once again. Elsa's eyes glinted with an icy glare before she slammed the door once again, sealing it tight. Anna raised her arm, letting out faint, "No…" before dropping her outstretched hand and falling unconscious. A witch had been created.

**reflecting…**

Fault. Guilt. An intense wave of both filled Elsa looking out her window the next day. Seeing the sun, she rejected its warmth and compassion, instead sulking away to the corners of her room, in which the triangular window could not aim. How could she have been so blind as to let her parents go off? Two weeks, they'd said. You'll be fine, they'd said. All of this could have been avoided! All she had done for them was be a burden. A girl who couldn't control a curse given to her innately at birth, complaining about her powers, claiming she could not control them without proper consideration. What had she done that was worth the love she'd been shown by her kind-hearted parents? How did her behavior warrant such kindness?

Now… understanding the desperate logic used above is not simple. It's evidently sporadic and self-incriminating. Regardless, the only real way to treat such (or imagined) indiscretions is through…

"…punishment," Elsa thought to herself. She needed a way… any way. A way simply to force upon herself the justice she could provide. It was her disgusting self-caused pain on her people and herself. Without a second thought, she forged a thin, sharp shard of ice into the palm of her hand. Taking her right hand and shakily grabbing the pure, glass-like crystal, her mind was racing, filled with the tormenting thoughts of what purity was, and how fragile this virtue truly was. Bringing the small blade to her left forearm she stopped, her only movements the fervent shaking in her right. Staying in this position, she reflected upon what was necessary; what was required to make up for her consequences. Grasping the shard tighter, she shut her eyes tightly and made a fast, clean, deep incision through her wrist. She threw her head back involuntarily through the surprisingly clarifying pain, throwing the shard to the side, and grabbing her wrist tightly, gritting her teeth and tearing up through the sudden pain. Opening her eyes, she released her grasp noticing the shocking amount of blood stained on her right hand. Covering her mouth with her left hand and staring at her newly designed right, she began to cry for a new reason: acceptance. Her body began to writhe, and she threw up onto the floor, catching her dress on its lovely journey to the soiled rug. Slowly and shakily, she wiped her mouth with her right hand, and slowly retook the shard, located slightly to her right. This time, she shut her eyes in understanding, groaning and sobbing in pain as she continued to drag the shard across her arm, sending blood all over the floor, mixing with the vomit to create a delicate mixture of demonic pleasure. Every cut, every incision represented a person she knew she'd hurt. No longer thinking, now acting on impulse. After a long two minutes of mutilation, she threw the bloodied shard to the side, curled up onto the floor and sobbed herself into a nightmarish and restless slumber. The shard had melted; the satanic indulgence no longer had a source.


	2. What Love Can't Heal

**Chapter 2 Part 1: **What love can't heal…

** (Anna)**

Getting out of bed had never really felt this hard… it was hard to push myself up from the bed, and harder to move to the side and get out. Everything I did hurt to do, and if my bed was the first hoop to jump through of the day, I knew it would only get worse. I heard some fast footsteps outside my door. It couldn't have been one person… but the more I listened to what might as well have been a stampede out in the hall, I realized it was an army of people.

Bursting through my door, two of the maids dropped their towels and rushed over to me, hugging, more like gripping me around my waist, wetting my dress… wait I wasn't wearing this before.

I caught myself raising my arms and making a pretty scared face as I relaxed and looked around the room.

"So… what's up?" I asked. I must have missed something because the butler leading the platoon started yelling at me.

"You've been asleep for this long and all you have to say to us is, 'What's up'? What's wrong with you, Anna? We've been worried sick!"

"Asleep for this long? What do you mean…" I opened my eyes slowly. "Where's Elsa?" I finished, looking around at the crowd.

The maids let me go, wiping their eyes. They backed up into the crowd again. "What's going on, guys?" I repeated, much more serious. Nobody responded, and I could feel my blood boil.

"Tell me!" I yelled. Everyone backed away from me; I could see them sharing looks around the group. "Stop looking at each other and look at me. _What happened?"_ I guess I could see where they were coming from. I wasn't really the princess to tell people what to do. Elsa was more brought-up than me, so me yelling at them must have been pretty out of character.

I took a breath. "I'm sorry, guys. I'm just worried about Elsa." I sighed and went on, "What happened to me, and what happened to Elsa?"

The butler (his name's Ivar I think) stepped toward me. It scared me that his head was down. Looking back up her said, "We, well, some of us found you outside Elsa's door, unconscious. It looks like you'd hit your head. We rushed you to your room and you've been asleep for a week now."

I looked up in shock. "A week?! Where's Elsa, then?" I asked. I could feel more pressure building up on me. Ivar opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and looked to the side. "Please, I need to know." He closed his eyes, and I felt myself start to get mad. He didn't answer.

I needed a response. Walking over to him (I could barely feel the ground under me), I grabbed his shirt tightly. His eyes shot opened as he stared at me as I shook him hard. "_Tell me!" _I could feel streams rolling down my cheeks.

Ivar was taller than me, and always wore his outfits nicely. He was the kind of person that if another butler did something wrong like, I don't know, drop a cup, he'd be staring intently at it; he wouldn't be able to handle the imperfection.

Ivar's eyes trembled inside his sockets and I jerked my head up, seeing everyone else staring at me in fear.

I let go of his shirt held my hands up, closing my eyes. Taking a deep breath I saw Ivar repositioning his shirt.

"I'm sorry, Ivar," I started, "I love my sister, and I need to know she's okay."

Ivar nodded in response, "That's absolutely fair, Princess Anna. It's just… she's obviously not okay."

I felt my innards sink inside me. "What do you mean?" Solemnly, Ivar turned his back and said back, "Let me show you."

I'd never been more scared to walk to Elsa's room than I was behind Ivar. Slowly I was starting to remember why I was out for a week and every time I remembered something new, my pace slowed. Ivar turned his back and asked, "Is everything alright, Princess?"

It didn't really feel like responding so I just nodded back at him. He turned back around and I could only guess he was worried for me. I wanted to thank him but I was just too scared.

Reaching Elsa's door, Ivar stood to the back and nodded at me to knock. I pressed my ear up against the wood and heard soft crying. I felt myself shiver and I took a deep breath before knocking on my sister's door.

**Chapter 2 Part 2**

**(Elsa)**

I heard a knocking at my door… but why? I had ordered the guards not to come here anymore. I stained my dress with the last of my tears and called out, "Who is it… what do you want?" I was honestly scared to hear the answer… I just hoped it wasn't-

"It's Anna," was the dreaded response, "I just want to talk to you, Elsa." I felt myself wanting to cry again. I breathed in and called back, "Anna, please, leave me alone. I can't help you, and you can't help me. I've already told Ivar to start preparations."

I didn't hear anything for a moment, and I'd hoped she'd left, but of course, she was still there. "Preparations? What preparations?"

Did she not know about it? It'd been a week. "I… I'm passing my coronation to you, Anna. I can't hurt anybody else."

There wasn't a silence this time. "Pass it to me?! Elsa, you know I'm like… the worst person to pass it to. Why can't you do it?" Her voice sounded strained.

"Arendelle needs a queen, not a tyrant," I said, hating myself for having to admit the truth. "I can't let anyone else get hurt because of me."

"You haven't hurt anyone yet though-" I had to cut her off. Now she was lying to me. "I hurt _you, _Anna!" I yelled back. "Mom and Dad are dead because of me! And if I became the queen, all of Arendelle will be _dead_!" I found myself panting after my little speech. Hopefully Anna would understand.

She didn't. I heard sobbing from outside the door. I could feel my own tears rolling down my cheeks. "Elsa, I love you… whatever the problem is, we can fix it together!" Anna pleaded, her words severed through her tears.

"No, Anna," I called back, "There are some things love can't fix. My heart is one of them. Please just… go away."

Anna became hysterical. She pounded on my door and screamed for me, and I could feel my heart splitting at every plea, every beg to see my disgusting self.

I heard Anna's wails get progressively quieter, and I could only assume a butler dragged her away. I smiled weakly before breaking down into tears again. I outstretched by hand and made another shard. I deserved everything that was going to happen, for making my sister cry like that. I grasped the fragment in my hand and shook as I readied myself.


	3. Is Lost Forever

**Chapter 3: **…is lost forever.

**(Elsa)**

"_You'll be fine, Elsa…"_ Gods, those lying, disgusting words ring through my head even today. It's like they lied to me, and God it hurts so bad…

I want to say I hate them, but even in my mind, I can't bring myself to think or say it. But that thought just burns in my mind… and I so desperately want to condemn the people that sent me to Hell early. And yet, I can't do it; it hurts more to want to destroy the last thought of my parents…

I sigh. It's been so long now, but I still can't bring myself to just let shit happen the way it should. I don't eat or drink for days but I always end up "rescuing" myself by finding something to fill my craving stomach (it's the worst thing in the world; it's like having your last meal time after time after time after time… I hate that I have to cry every time), every time the ice tears through my skin, I have to throw it away and scream, forcing myself to stop, and I don't know why. There's literally no reason to.

And Anna… I'm so sorry, Anna. I love you, I really do, but you have to do this. I can't be queen. Everyone in the kingdom would be in danger. I hope you understand… please understand, love.

And with that I feel the tears piercing their way through my tear ducts; I know they don't need me there.

**(Anna)**

Do people cry too much? How much is considered _too_ much? Is it too much when you have butlers and maids coming in to take my pillows away and replace them because they're so damn wet? I'm no expert, but I think that's too much.

I mean what's wrong with me? I'm cold all the time and I cry non-stop. I have to become queen in like, 2 weeks, and I don't know what the hell to do yet. Something's wrong with me, I know that for sure. Ivar and the other butlers say that my hair's turning whit because of stress, but then why am I so cold and depressed all the time? I have to get answers and I know where I have to get them… it's just my answers are locked behind a door. It's a piece of flimsy wood blocking me from seeing my sister who I _know_ needs my help.

Ivar walked in, and I was really not ready for him; I looked like a mess. He smiled… Ugh, I can't even stand smiles right now. "Princess Anna, we have a rehearsal in a half-hour. We need you out of bed quick." I don't turn to face him. "Fine," is all I can say in response.

I didn't hear him leave though; normally he'd be gone by now. I actually decide to raise my head for the first time in a week and see him staring at me, no longer smiling.

"Princess Anna… your hair… it's much whiter than before," he said, his panicked voice not really helping me out.

"You think I don't know that?" I said back, getting pissed off now, "I wanna see my sister but _someone_ dragged me away. Now whenever I go back there, I don't even get a response. Christ, Ivar, what would I do _without_ you?!" I was screaming now, my eyes directly on his.

Ivar bowed his head and left, closing the door gently behind him. But as I let out my breath, I felt terrible. All he's done was protect me this whole time, and I pay him back by giving him crap about it. I called out his name and jumped out of bed to try to apologize. But I didn't even get to the door before I fell over, my body suddenly becoming frigid.

It suddenly was hard to breathe… my body started to uncontrollably tremble with panic and cold. I couldn't think straight; should I scream? Could I scream? What was going on? Am I dying? I didn't know what to do; my head was spinning and I couldn't… couldn't…

My eyes were half shut and could faintly hear Ivar shouting, "Blankets, now!" before passing out, my head hitting the floor to what I'd hoped was a nice _clunk_.

**(Elsa)**

I'd never thought looking out my useless, triangle, glass prison wall would ever be comforting and yet looking at the morning sun in the distance was strangely satisfying. The sun could only do the same thing every day… I stood in its light hoping it'd melt me… melt the putrid body people called Elsa. If only, though. Everything the light touched in my room was by now destroyed and I sincerely hoped that it would take me with it.

I heard frantic, running steps out in the hall, and I turned my head to face the stampede. When they got to my door, they started banging on it so hard I thought they'd break their hands.

"Elsa! Open the door!" It was Ivar, what did he need. "Your sister is in grave danger! Her hair is turning white and she's damn near close to freezing to death! Please; she needs your help!" I couldn't even move. What had I done to Anna to make her like this? Did I hit her with any of my magic?

I froze. I did, didn't I? The night we learned about our parents. I… hadn't hit her in the heart had I…?!

The pounding continued. "Elsa, please! This is your sister! Don't you care!? She obviously needs you here by her side!" I couldn't tell them about my powers, so I stayed silent, trembling while rapid ideas created flurries in my head.

"Damn it, Elsa!" Ivar bellowed, "Your sister is literally dying in my arms right now! Get out here and fix this! Think about someone else other than yourself for once _and help Anna!" _I widened my eyes in a mix of shock and anger. I care more than you ever will Ivar. More than anyone in this fucking kingdom will. The only thing I haven't done to help you more is kill myself. I wanted so badly to show them what I was protecting them from.

I stood up and felt the cold rush through my body… oh it felt good to have power again. Feeling icy glows in my palms, I walked towards the door in rage and reveled in the ice queen that was finally coming out. I threw the door open ready to strike until I saw Anna's pale face and hair. Oh God, Anna…

I felt the hate flee from my body as a fell to my knees holding Anna in my arms.

"Anna! What's wrong?" I said panicked. I looked around at the servants. "What's happened to her?"

Ivar told me, "We thought that if the Princess saw you again she would be healed… that clearly isn't the case."

I looked back down at my sister, shaking her hard. "Please, Anna, look at me! Let me know what's wrong!" I felt her forehead; she was freezing. I quickly tried to cover her with the blankets Ivar's men had brought along with them. "Look at me, Anna! Come on… _come on!_" I was starting to scream, and the guards began backing away from us, their heads bowed. My attention went to them, "What are you doing?! Help me! Please, I'm begging you…" I could feel tears starting to form.

Looking back down at the sick girl, I saw her eyes begin to flutter. I gasped, "Anna? Anna! What's wrong? What do I have to do… just tell me what I have to do to make you better!" I had never meant for any of this to happen… I just wanted to protect my sister and her kingdom. Was it the wrong thing for me to do?

Anna's lips could barely move, "I'm so… cold, Elsa," she whispered, sending shock waves through my heart. What was wrong with her? What could I have done to hurt her like this?

Just then, my memory showed me exactly what I needed to see: "You are lucky it wasn't her heart. The heart is not so easily changed, but the head can be persuaded…" The trolls… had I hit her in the heart all that time ago? Oh God, I couldn't have. No, there has to be a way to fix this; there always is, right? But could I show my powers to the servants? What would they think of me? Would they cast me out? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that none of this mattered. Anna's life mattered more than any of that.

I had no idea what I was doing, but I rested my hands on Anna's heart, hoping to… I don't know… _drain_ the ice away? But as time went on with no results, the tears in my eyes turned quickly into streams. "No, Anna, I can fix this…" I started to weep, "I won't let you die!" My hands came off her chest and I held her tightly, sobbing uncontrollably. The guards looked in astonishment and worry as my glowing hands pressed against her chest.

"Anna! What do I do?! What do I do?!" I started to scream, my mind at a loss for a solution. I felt her hand barely touch my forearm and I quickly looked into her half-open eyes. She started to brush my sleeve… what was she doing? But when she saw my arm and its new marks, she looked into my eyes in horror.

"Elsa…" she whispered, "…why?"

I stayed silent. I just didn't have a response for her. "Anna…" was all I could muster. I saw the droplets in Anna's eyes, and her pained face. Her body was starting to get colder. I froze as I saw ice starting to form around Anna's body.

"No… no!" I yelled as the ice started to rapidly spread around her body. Without thinking I began to shoot ice magic at her, hoping it would do something, _anything_, to stop the ice.

It didn't.

It covered her legs and arms and I could no longer move her. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, begging the gods to let my sister live. But what reason did they have to answer to me… I'm the one who caused this in the first place.

As Anna's face began to freeze, it covered her mouth and I saw the despairing and now frozen look in her eyes as the last of her body turned to ice. Gasping in my sister's lifelessness, I slowly wrapped my arms around the statue, resting my head against her heart.

As I shivered on the floor, the guards around me backed away into the darkness, leaving me with the shadow of my own imperfections.


End file.
